being a mother - a late reflection of mother's day

laughing with my lil guy on mother's day

Being a mother seemed like something I could never picture myself as. During my pregnancy I was excited to have Zane but couldn’t relate to the fact that I was going to be a mom. It still never seemed real. I didn’t have time to think about being a mother when we were in the hospital after his birth. I was focused on understanding him and getting to know this little guy who just entered our world.

One night after feeding Zane I sat in the nursery with him in my arms. He was dosing off in my arms looking up at me. He seemed to be trying to concentrate on my face through the dim light of the night-light. I leaned down and said, “I love you.” I was thinking, “Don’t forget this face. I’m your Mommy.” I am someone’s Mommy. It hit me then that this child was placed into my life for my Pat and I to care for and love unconditionally.

I am his Mommy – what a phrase. I am the person he will run to with his arms wide open when he’s fallen and scraped his knee. I’m the one who will find unique ways to comfort him when he’s sick. I’m the one who will encourage him to try just one more bite of that green stuff and I’ll be the one he spits that green stuff all over. I’m the one who will be excited to hear details of his first day of school. I’m the one who will have to be told, “It’s okay,” when he runs out onto a football field. And I’ll have to be told, “Be easy on her,” when I meet his first girlfriend and will one day cry when he stands as a gentleman and says “I do.”

I’m a Mommy. I have a huge responsibility that includes much more than changing diapers and clipping tiny fingernails. I have the responsibility to show our son how much his Mommy loves him and that he is truly unique.