off again

Last night I packed my bag for a girls trip to North Carolina this weekend. Somehow packing for this proved to be more difficult than I had planned. Two of my oldest friends and I are headed to NC to see another one of our friends and head to the beach for a couple of days. I couldn't decide what to pack! You think this would have gotten easier after our London trip and only taking two carry-ons. I should have this packing thing down. But it's changed...I had a baby.

So packing several shirts in case that day I feel my momma belly is pouching out too much or my-child-is-only-six-months-old-hips that may not look right in those pair of pants. I over packed. I promise I'm not THAT self conscious about it, but I think I'm anticipating feeling self conscious because I'll be with three women who haven't popped out a baby yet.

Oh well, I was planning on checking my bag anyways because I can't carry it on with my breast pump and purse (which I must have to hold Harry Potter). And I have to check the breast milk on the way home anyways because I'm not traveling with child. Stupid rule! Don't they realize some women sometimes have to ravel without child and keep their supply up? Meaning...we have milk to take home to our baby! I understand security measures but really...

And of course a bit of sadness drew near last night as I realized I wouldn't see Zane or Pat for a few days. I wanted to hold onto Zane close and rock him before he went to sleep. Zane wanted nothing to do with this. I haven't rocked him in months and he kept squirming and looking at me like "Lady, put me in the crib! I'd also like you to stop kissing me so much!"

While I was preparing my bag Pat kept asking questions like "Do we have more bread?" or "What am I going to eat while you're gone?" Now to Pat's defense he does know how to use the stove but I think he's gone into slight fear mode of being with Zane alone. He'll be perfectly fine but I'm sure it's scary to know he'll be with him alone for a few days and nights. It was scary for me just for one night when Pat was in Vegas. But it will be good guy bonding time. I'm sure it will involve the TV on the whole weekend with golf or the NFL network on. And Pat will eat lots of nachos and PB&J and he'll feed Zane well because he's just on milk and cereal.

In a few years from now though I see this being a bit different. I'll come home and Zane will blurt out that he and Daddy at fast food all weekend as Pat's telling him that was their seceret. And that Daddy makes the best pancakes, please Mommy don't attempt breakfast food again! And a bit of shock as I see the boy toys thrown throughout the house, that'd be both big boy toys and kid's toys. And if Pat gets his wish, the Wii will have been used all weekend long.

But for now...I feel like I'll come home to my two guys like I hadn't even left. Except that I'll want to grab Zane immediately and hold him and kiss my hubby hello.