Four months prego in Chicago.
Thought it'd be funny to take a picture in the Bean
to see how wide I looked, realizing it'd make me look even wider!

I remember being so scared when I found out I was pregnant about what it would do to my body. And then I felt guilty even worrying about that because I know so many people who'd give anything to be pregnant and could care less about what happens to their body. But I still constantly couldn't get beyond it as my body continued to widen.

I forgot less and less about it when my belly was a cute little bump, but then as it neared the last 3 months I began to get really nervous about how I was going to lose the weight that Zane was helping me put on. That cute bump was huge with the combination of weight to my face and about everywhere else (and the kankles didn't help either)!

I came home from the hospital after having Zane and would stand in front of our long mirror and look at how weird I looked. I had the strange squishy belly thing going on. Frankly, it freaked me out! No one tells you about how weird that is. Maybe because it's hard to explain till you go through it. Next time around I think I'll have the long mirror taken down, only to be put back up about 3-4 months later.

I also will wait more than 6 weeks before trying on my pre-pregnancy clothes. What was I thinking? This resulted in tears and phone calls to both Pat and my mom who told me to put the clothes away...it had only been 6 weeks after all! I kept thinking about all those celebrity moms who seem to have the weight off in a week. Oh wait, they have personal chefs, trainers and PhotoShop! Reality sunk in and I began to become more comfortable with the fact that it would take awhile.

I can't say that I've worked really hard, because I haven't, but somehow I'm back to my pre-pregnancy size. My body is a bit different, few more weird things going on, but I'm somewhat okay with that. (Pat might say different as I complain to him all the time about it). I still get self conscious around friends who haven't pushed out a baby yet and Pat reminds me of the differences.

I'm feeling comfortable though, yes I have my bad days, but there's something about being a mother that makes you look in the mirror differently. I just can't describe it but I'm sure some of you know what I mean.

See more takes on wide at Picture This.