12/4/07

self doubt

I've made this decision to begin helping my mom with photography. To help her actually photograph and to help on the business side of things including editing the photos. I'm beginning to feel more confident on the editing side of things but as I have begun to take photos in the manual mode of our camera I am lacking confidence. It seems overwhelming like there's so much to learn and I don't want to mess someone's photos up. Sure I can take it on automatic or program but is that teaching me anything?

I've been frustrated several times recently and Pat has told me not to get frustrated that it will take some time. I have no training so it's going to be a learning curve.

My question is why am I doubting myself on this so much? I am excited about it and the opportunity to work with my mom. Yet there's this voice telling me "You can't do it. Just stick with what you're doing." Why should I succumb to this annoying voice? I'm completely giving in and just being okay with being comfortable then. And I don't want to be comfortable I want to be challenged. I really feel like so many things are pointing to heading in this direction so I need to kick the self doubt to the curb. If it was only as easy as that though. Just when I feel good about something, Mr. Self Doubt shows up at my door and I have to deal with him all over again.

I want to be able to tell Zane that he should follow his dreams and that it might be hard work but he should go for it. What kind of example am I setting if I'm not living that as well?

So here's to tackling those doubts and to pushing on through to what could be a wonderful next stage.